Fangboner, the name says it all; hooking up with wookies, one night stands, and banana jammin’ teenage girls. Oh yeah, Fangboner…
Beware, if they haven’t come to your town yet. If they’ve already been there, it’s too late. However, if they do come around, lock up your daughters and hold on to your wives.
A throwback to 80’s hair metal with pop hooks and excessive amounts of alcohol? Definitely.
Having a total disregard for musical taste and talent? Definitely.
Is there something so out of place and out of tune that you can’t take your eyes off of them? Hell yes!
Corpse of Chewbacca:
These drinks are pretty tasty,
These shots don’t even faze me,
I’m looking for a lady,
My eyes are getting hazy,
DAMN THESE BEER EYES.
Unbelievably, these underdogs are setting west-side Cleveland on fire. Playing a CD release part to a crowd of 300+ at the Hi-Fi after only 9 months of their curious existence, is, well, curious?
Sheamus P. Carney is a blue collar extraordinaire, absolute chic magnet, and pretty boy. He has a silky smooth voice, ever so finely out of tune. But nobody cares about the pitch because of his onstage strut and confidence. Does he use his good looks to sell CDs and merch. Hell no. He simply responds, “I wouldn’t sleep with that one, so why should I sell her a T-shirt?”
They own a school bus. Yes, a “school bus”. And befittingly it is the short bus. With their taste for young women though, we were surprised it was not an ice cream truck.
Somehow they played the House of Blues. That’s right. They opened for national act Cowboy Mouth, who put them up in Atlantic City to party with Playboy Bunnies. WTF? No we’re not joking.
The back of the CD reads Gaspar – Drum. Not “drums” or “percussion”, “DRUM". Why? If you’ve ever spoken to Gaspar you know that he is the missing link between monkey and man. He speaks in monosyllabic sentences and resembles Animal from the Muppets when they play a show.
Where did they get they’re name? Fangboner Rd. How many bands are jealous they didn’t think of it first?
Spizzy is a man without fear. He’s Pete Townshend with much less technique and equal energy. His testicles are rumored to be the size of softballs (elephantitis maybe?). We also heard through the grapevine that he doesn’t even play with his amp on because he just doesn’t even give a shit.
Fangboner is known for dropping trowsers at certain venues. It is Fangboner tradition that everybody drops their drawers at the end of their set and dance around like wild chimpanzees. However unlikely this might sound, IT IS COMPLETELY TRUE. There are pictures to support it.
Yontsey is not a great guitar player by any stretch of the imagination. What he lacks in ability, he more than makes up for in dissonant, catchy, infectious pop riffs. He is the band’s talker, hustler, and spin doctor. Watch out for this man.
Fat Wreck reviewed their EP and said they really like they’re band, no shit. Again, the proof is in the picture.